shellphones | [audio] To those afflicted by morbols, or whatever they're called here:

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[audio] To those afflicted by morbols, or whatever they're called here:

Ahem. Should you find yourself running afoul of the carnivorous seedkin with a multitude of tentacles and gaping maw that spews a noxious gas, I can provide some relief from their effects.

[ It would be a complete cure but apparently the morbols here are different and he can't guarantee to relieve the effects entirely. SMH. ]

Let me know your location and I will find you there.

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Uhhh... okay, Shakespeare. Modern English, please?

[ Have a loud, put-upon sigh. ]

If a walking plant breathes on you, I will cure you.

Hey, don't sigh at me. You're the one talking like that.

[#Persassy]

Thanks. Was that so hard?

[ Oh, boy's going to be like that is he-- ]

What if I told you I had to speak an even older tongue to simplify that for you?

[ He didn't but two can play this sass game. ]

[he's always going to be Like That.]

What? You mean it all went backwards or something? That's so in the past for me, dude.

[ His voice takes on a briefly guttural timbre. ]

(Draconic:) Backwards not. Speak meaning, words less.

[..........]

Okay well, that's way more confusing. Maybe... just maybe, you should speak some modern speech instead.

Is this not modern? His words, though his tone could be improved upon, is quite clear.

[ Oi. ]

Don't think I've heard anyone outside the gods use the words "afoul", and "multitude" and "gaping maw". They don't count, because they've been around for forever. Literally.

Edited 2025-06-08 14:58 (UTC)

'Tis rather common vernacular where we hail from. This is a first that someone has readily mentioned otherwise.

When speaking of that particular breed of seedkin, I can't quite think of them as anything but gaping maws of virulent fumes and droves of teeth.

Yeah... usually you'd see that sort of stuff in Shakespeare. I snoozed through those classes, though.

[of course he did.]

Oh, sounds like just another day for me. You guys want me to get rid of it or something, so it doesn't bother you?

I believe it would be more of a bother to those who cannot handle themselves accordingly.

I've definitely fought monsters and gods before, so I don't think it'll be much of a problem. Gods are definitely the hard mode as far as fights go.

I see that you cannot help but offer your assistance yet again.

I'm sure I don't know what you mean.

I am quite sure that you do.

I could always lure one to your home if you wish to experience their breath firsthand.

Simply because I offer you praise for wishing to assist others?

It seems to me you weren't so much praising as trying to force an admission.

It can be both, friend.

[ Ew, that's disgusting. Stop that. ]

I will tell your paramour all of the embarrassing moments I witnessed of you on the First.

[ What Emet-Selch probably means as a warning as well as an offer of aid has caught Zelda's interest for exactly the wrong reasons. ]

"Carnivorous seedkin?" Do you mean like something akin to a pitcher plant or a snapping plant?

This thing does not snap so much as slap you with its prehensile tentacles. And no, it is not a pitcher plant either. It has a large mouth from which its foul breath spews and it moves over land like an octopode. Most grow to over twice the size of man.

"Twice the size of a man?" And it can move across the ground? Then, does it not have any roots? Or are the tentacles its roots?

[ Each question sounds a little more excited than the last. ]

The tentacles function as roots when it settles. Which means you could find yourself ambushed from underground even if they seem out of reach.

...Are you planning to find one to examine it?

[ He supposes their saliva CAN be used in medicine but... ]

[ There are few things that excite a young researcher more than a weird plant. And this one sounds like the mother of all weird plants! ]

Oh, absolutely! I have studied quite a lot of strange plants, but nothing that even comes close to this... what did you say it called? A Marvel?

A morbol.

[ ... ]

However, there have been many names for its infinite variations. This one is apparently a... [ CHECKS BOUNTY PAGE ] "balmoro".

If you intend to seek one out, I can accompany you. Many underestimate its stench and the reach of its breath.

A balmoro.

[ There are a few seconds of silence as Zelda types this information into the Purah Pad. Oh boy, time to learn about a new plant ♪ ]

I should be happy for your company, thank you, Emet-Selch! [ :D ] I have encountered carnivorous plants before, so I am familiar with their putrid stench. Don't worry, I have a strong constitution.

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		OSZAR »

[audio] To those afflicted by morbols, or whatever they're called here:

audio i'm so sorry about him

always disrespect him LMAO

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as I try to remember the dragons' grammar structure

LMAO RIP

i am sorry!

god I wish I had that plurk emote of him right now

never be sorry!

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audio; un: multidisciplinary

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i'm happy to turn this to an action thread if you want!